Rabbi's Week in Review Blog

My mother’s yahrzeit z”l occurred this past week. Actually, this is the 18th year of her yahrzeit — 18, of course, referencing the Hebrew word "chai," or "life." I believe we do give life to those loved ones who have died by how we honor memory. For my mother, it was the memory of her kindness; her quiet generosity, in which she always put others ahead of her own needs; and a somewhat hidden yet undeniable emotional strength. 

When we honor memory through yahrzeit observance, we plug into the values that have been transmitted to us — transmitted by the example of how those loved ones lived their lives, and the way they taught and passed on those values to us. When we say Kaddish Yatom — Mourner’s Kaddish, a prayer of praise to G-d — we can see it as a place of gratitude to G-d for giving us those people who gave our lives meaning and purpose.

As I have often said, we don’t do a celebration of life as a funeral service. We must first mourn before we can celebrate. However, over time, as we have the space provided by a yahrzeit, we hopefully can celebrate those lives with gratitude for the legacy they have left us — a legacy of positive values that have enhanced our lives and made the world a better place for their time in it.